Family get-togethers can be an out-of-body experience. I know these folks so well, my sense of observation seems to range around the room like an inquisitive drone. Uncle Jeb’s loud voice means he’s drinking too much and we should be alert for belligerence. Aunt Jen’s low moan is the first sign of a sobbing fit to come. In the past, I’ve tried every way to console her, but the only things that works are her anti-depressant pills which she occasionally stops taking.
I remain aware of my cousins’ quirks. Amy can’t bear to be teased. My branch of the family are experts at sarcasm and I don’t always hold my tongue fast enough. When that happens, Amy casts sad puppy-dog-eyes at me. Sometimes I apologize but other times, I wonder why she can’t take a little joke.
However, the tables quickly turn when sharp tongues wound me. I know this can happen and, before the event, I imagine where I might go for a quiet break. I reassure myself that I could take a walk or hole up in a restroom.
I love my family but remain wary of certain individuals. Before a trip to see them, I do, what I call, my refuge meditation. When I’m still and my breath is even, I focus attention on my core, beneath the stomach where I’ve felt anxiety in the past. I concentrate on my strength there, and a settled sense of calm comes over me. I visualize being with my loved ones while maintaining this peace.
When I’m actually with these people I’ve known forever, I breathe into my deep inner space (whenever I remember). If all is going well, I expand my love for them with these efforts. If something upsets me, I do the same mental and physical exercise to create more stillness. I never do it perfectly, but, over the years, I’ve become more tranquil and accepting of my relatives’ quirks as well as my own. I don’t use the “nosy drone” as much anymore.
Real Life – Real Laughs:
Humor When You Need It Most
Cate Burns’ thirty-eight non-fiction stories of heartfelt humor explore society’s foibles and personal snafus with insightful zingers that will delight readers. Burns casts an unstinting, cock-eyed look at personal change, friendship, sanity and courage.
“Absolutely LOVE the descriptions in this work. Very, very, very clever and, dare I say it? -unique. This is refreshing, funny, inventive and delightful.” -Sharon Whitehill, Ph. D.
