At times I break my own heart. In Seattle last summer, I visited Clara. We’ve been friends since second grade. She’s had a hard life and now suffers from a chronic disease that requires two or more surgeries a year. I feel so sad for her, but her spirit is strong, and I treasure our […]

One day, my adult son and I ascended a Swiss mountain on a gently swaying gondola that held about fifteen people. I noticed an unusual group on board, a young man, perhaps in his mid-to-late twenties, accompanied by three women, one of whom held the hand of a very well-behaved child, around kindergarten age. From

When I was twelve years old, my mother began warning me about something she called the White Slave Trade. “Don’t get caught by the White Slave Trade,” she repeated many times. She never defined it or mentioned any sexual aspect to it.  Her cautionary tone of voice sounded serious, but she always laughed at the

On a cruise from Singapore to Hong Kong, I became aware of some people’s obsession with gender roles. Among the Americans I met on the ship, I quickly made friends with a pair of travelers from Nevada: a young woman, Jo Ann, and her mother, Anni, a Buddhist nun. They were quiet, yet amiable, and

For Christmas and birthdays, I, like many people, received cards from loved ones. After retirement, I noticed several relatives wrote a page or two, documenting incidents from their life. It seemed to me that, in their eighties and nineties, some folks became thoughtful and wanted others to know what their significant experiences had been. This

At times, peoples’ voices seem to reflect attitudes that reverberate from past generations. I’ve often heard parents bragging about themselves, their kids or grandkids, my parents included. I strived to get good grades and performed in dance recitals because I occasionally overheard Mom extol my achievements to her friends or family in her long telephone

It appears to me that many people, including myself, relate to others using unspoken agreements. By happenstance, my friend ends up caring for her husband who suffers from severe alcoholism. For thirty years, she continues to try to host nice social gatherings while attempting to stop his drinking. It never works. She’s mortified by his

At ten years old, when an older cousin taught me meditation, I first noticed variations in my breathing. When I felt nervous or frightened I stopped breathing.  Because I rarely admitted to fear or anxiety, the only clue I had about my true emotions was when I became aware of holding my breath or gasping.

My friend, Susan’s daughter-in-law, Josie, doesn’t keep up with grocery shopping. At mealtimes, she improvises with whatever’s in the cupboards. Her two small children are healthy and happy. They eat a few bites, declare themselves satisfied and are excused from the dinner table. An hour later, they run to the fridge for a few more

Recently I experienced the old terror I’d felt in childhood when my frequently inebriated parents screamed in fury, sometimes hitting each other. As a kid, I hid behind the living room couch or under the covers of my bed, trembling. A close relative, my beloved cousin Joe, has a partner, Brandon, who is prone to