Echoes of Past Generations

At times, peoples’ voices seem to reflect attitudes that reverberate from past generations. I’ve often heard parents bragging about themselves, their kids or grandkids, my parents included. I strived to get good grades and performed in dance recitals because I occasionally overheard Mom extol my achievements to her friends or family in her long telephone calls, or in weekend coffee klatches with her buddies. Positive feedback from Mom was never direct. I re-visited this unwelcome phenomenon in my son’s school, filled with overachievers whose parents loudly broadcasted their child’s every success. Loath to repeat my own childhood dismay, I ground my teeth at others’ behavior and tried my best to talk to my son realistically about his ups and downs at school.
Today, when I hear people brag, a feeling of dread descends. I wonder if I might be hearing their parents’ voices through them, passed down through the decades.
Recently, I listened to an adult man whining, “It’s too hot. This weather’s driving me nuts. AC is so expensive, it’s not fair.” It was easy for me to imagine him as a child, complaining to his mom and dad who must have reinforced his behavior. I seemed to hear a direct link to what his parents allowed him to express.
Another way I hear my forebearers is through anger. In childhood, when guests weren’t in our home, my parents seemed to be eternally erupting volcanos, screaming at each other. Their fury terrified me. I hid from them as much as possible. Today, when I hear anger, I still hide. Wrath seems to resonate down historical corridors from previous ancestors.
Positive traits such as protectiveness, love of education, caretaking and joy in creativity are also values I gratefully inherited from those who went before me. While not so dramatic as whining, bragging or anger, the positive merits remained consistent in my young years. My parents provided daily food and shelter, health care, focus on school, and a love of art and literature.
Fortunately, over the years, in my roles as a mother, aunt, artist and art professor, I’ve been able to pass some of these values on to younger folks. I hope that, while imparting some worthy gems to the younger generation, I’ve minimized my whining, bragging and anger.

Cate Burns is the author of Libido Tsunami: Awash with the Droll in Life, in which she unearths the ludicrous in the emotional live traps surrounding us — in families, friends and disastrous romances. Get it on Amazon today.