Every tour group seemed to have one: an insufferable know-it-all. I travelled in Japan with a group of Americans, visiting one breathtaking temple after another. I tried to politely ignore Amy as much as I could, but she popped up everywhere, usually bragging about her latest exploits.
Each evening found us in a lovely hotel or onsen (hot springs inn). One morning, in a large urban hotel, I was shocked to hear an alarm, with instructions in several languages to evacuate. As I entered the beautiful hotel lobby, I saw a sobbing Amy, surrounded by police and five frowning hotel managers, all dressed in business suits.
I heard the rumors. While trying to find the button that would flush the toilet in her room, Amy had accidentally pushed the emergency alarm. On the one hand, I didn’t blame Amy for her mistake. The new-fangled Japanese toilets didn’t have a standard flush lever; it could be any size, shape or color and might be located anywhere in the room. Over the two weeks of my vacation, I spent hours searching for flushers.
On the other hand, I smirked: divine justice had been served to Amy, to balance her interminable conceit on the trip. With these conflicting feelings, I watched as a group of police and hotel managers accompanied the frightened Amy to an ambulance that had arrived. She was unhurt, however, Japanese law required anyone who set off an alarm to be examined by a doctor. For Amy, this seemed to add a new level of public humiliation.
This incident also reminded me of all the times the greater universe had seen fit to take me down a notch, usually when I was overheard gossiping, much to my embarrassment. However, I must admit, it was particularly delicious to watch an annoying person receive a set-down.
Real Life – Real Laughs:
Humor When You Need It Most
Cate Burns’ thirty-eight non-fiction stories of heartfelt humor explore society’s foibles and personal snafus with insightful zingers that will delight readers. Burns casts an unstinting, cock-eyed look at personal change, friendship, sanity and courage.
“Absolutely LOVE the descriptions in this work. Very, very, very clever and, dare I say it? -unique. This is refreshing, funny, inventive and delightful.” -Sharon Whitehill, Ph. D.
